If you’re reading this post, chances are you’re probably already a fantastic lover. (Congratulations!) So I apologize in advance if this entry doesn’t pertain to you. I promise I’ll make it up to you down the road.
After all, who needs a few extra hints to please his or her significant other in the bedroom (or wherever)? Who could really use some tips on making each other more satisfied. Certainly not you!
But if you want to read this so you’ll have something to talk about when you meet the guys at the bar or be able to make conversation on the next ladies’ night out, keep reading. You like helping your friends out, right?
The biggest thing that couples are missing out on in the bedroom? It’s watches! Both men’s watches and ladies’ watches–no discrimination here. While there are seemingly infinite ways that watches can improve your love life, there are three significant ones that I will focus on here:
1. A good watch will make you very confident.
Ask anyone–confidence is key in the bedroom. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, if you believe you do–that’s good enough:
And–let’s face it–if you’re doing it right, you probably won’t have much on except for your trusty watch–the good friend right on your wrist encouraging you silently as you go. Pillows and sheets can’t do that people! Nor can they tell time, like this sexy unisex watch below:
When it comes to today’s trends, wood is in. And wood is also hip in watch materials, too. (See what I did there? ) The Silvano Gracieux series blends polished stainless steel with a luxurious cherry wood blend for a modern look. The Black & Cherry model above also has an offset date and a 365-day manufacturer’s warranty. That’s one full year of having a whoopie squire at your bidding–how can you go wrong?
2. Wearing a watch in the sack will actually increase your focus.
Think about it: When you have the knowledge that you could look at the time whenever you’d like, that’s enough for it to be an afterthought. So when you’re wondering how long you’ve been doing something, a flick of the wrist will tell you. You don’t need to waste concentration on being curious.–you have enough to be concerned with. So focus is actually increased by having the knowledge of not knowing the time or duration of a certain act. I know it’s confusing, but read this paragraph again, and you’ll understand.
So when you’re focused on the task at hand, you don’t need to be doing several things at once (unless you’re a professional, or something). But just in case you want to have the option of optimizing your time efficiency, men’s Skagen watches have the perfect piece:
When you’re timing how long it is before you have to shower before work while weighing the possibility of getting any sleep at all, this Skagen Klassik Men’s Multifunction watch can actually do the work for you. You’re busy enough. Don’t neglect the task at hand. Skagen can help you prioritize for as long as you live with its lifetime warranty.
3. Watches can be quite the aphrodisiac.
Guys, what’s the first thing you look at when you’re checking out a new lady? Eyes? Hair? OK–so maybe her wrist doesn’t make the top three (or five), but it’s still up there. You want to be with someone who enjoys the finer things in life. After all, a lady with a touch of class is better than a lady with a killer…
…smile. (I’m on fire right now.)
And ladies, when you’re scanning for bling on the ring finger, you know your eyes will wander to his wrist to see what he’s rocking. You think Beyonce would have married Jay-Z if his wrist was naked? No way. In fact, her eyes are already wandering to another luxury watch connoisseur (and Tha Carter is none to happy about it, either).
So maybe you don’t have as much money in your Gucci bag as Kim Kardashian does, but you can still look the part with a watch from one of the most underrated brands we carry:
Unlike its name, Toy Watch is not a brand of toy watches (like some other ones we carry*). It’s actually one of the movers-and-shakers in the ladies’ watch industry. For instance, ladies’ Toy Watch models like the Toy2Fly Skeleton Plasteramic were one of the first to offer an automatic movement with a high-quality rubber strap and a ceramicized case. Then some snooty luxury brands caught on and made basically the same thing with a five-figure price tag.
But you’ve got brains and beauty, so you would never fall for that, would you? Trust me, I speak from experience when I say that the right watch will center your aura, give you the confidence you need and sexify yourself beyond belief. Want proof? This photo was taken of me yesterday:
(Ed. note: This may or may not be the author. We can’t find any evidence the photo was doctored. He just REALLY found the right watch.)
I’ve wasted enough of your time. Strap on your new timepiece and start living life.
* – EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!