Here at WatchCo, we understand your predicament. When it came time to pull that family member’s name out of the hat, you hoped against hope that you’d get Jimmy, your all All-American nephew who is always happy with a new pair of kicks, an indoor/outdoor basketball or even a (insert local NFL team here) football jersey.
But even if you didn’t get Jimmy, you’d settle for cousin Jane. A gift certificate to New York & Company would make her just as giddy as if you were tossing her the keys to a new Fiat.
And if worse came to worst, you’d just draw out your sister and brother-in-law’s baby Gavin’s name. You could trip in the doorway of Babies “R” Us and fall into something his parents either want or need. But, alas, fate was cruel to you this year. From said hat, you withdrew the name of your withdrawn alternative, quasi-emo niece Simone:
Fear not, culturally-sheltered one! I’ve put together a short list of four watches that Simone (or Simon if you drew your nephew’s name instead) will absolutely love to wrap around her (or his) wrist this year. Take it from a guy who works with a bunch of hipsters: You will NOT go wrong with any of these four selections:
1. The Casio Purple Baby-G
Contrary to popular belief, hipsters aren’t allow about drab earth-tones in their fashion choices. They do like a fair amount of color to express their non-conformity. And a purple digital watch absolutely screams non-conformity. This royalty-colored model for her features a back light (so she can read it at that Arcade Fire concert), a chronograph stopwatch (so she can time how long Arcade Fire can drag out their already lengthy Reflektor songs) and a shockproof case (so it won’t get damaged when she is rocking out at the Arcade Fire show). Oh, did I mention hipsters LOVE Arcade Fire?
You can pick that Baby-G up for less than $100 right now, so it’s a solid buy knowing that she’s going to love it. But if digital watches are sooooo yesterday, then Simone might like this futuristic timepiece instead:
2. The Ziiiro Milky White Proton
When shopping for hipsters, the most important thing to remember is that they set the trends. Once they see anyone else doing,wearing, listening to, speaking about etc. something, they drop it like a bad habit. Hipsters were wearing bell bottoms in the ’50s. They were playing Pac-Man in the ’60s. And they were on Instagram before Bill Clinton ever became President. So hipster, meet the Ziiiro Proton.
This watch tells time by using two overlapping gradient discs. The blue represents the hour, the yellow the minutes. The cool part is that as the day goes on, the overlapping discs create an array of yellows,blues and greens. But let’s face it–with a watch as cool looking as this, who cares what time it is? The wearer is always living in the moment, eating only organic foods while smoking packs upon packs of cigarettes.
But this post isn’t just limited to women’s watches. I have a couple choices for the politically minded, unemployed man who always carries with him a hint of a hummus scent. You know–this guy:
I might be coming off as anti-hipster here, but it’s only because I wish I could live the lifestyle they do. Free-wheeling. Flying by the seat of their skinny jeans. Spending more time pontificating on life than they do shaving. That’s where it’s at. But does the Joaquin Phoenix wannabe above have the watch below? Probably not. Check this out:
3. The Vestal Observer
Seriously. I cannot look at this watch and not see it as the missing accessory for our bearded friend. Those massive steel studs on the band cement this piece as a must-have for hipsters. The Observer has a huge 46 mm case diameter, and big watches still aren’t mainstream enough for hipsters to abandon them. Bearded Simon would get more than a half decade of use out of this watch at a minimum before middle America caught up to the coasts. Pick it up now while it’s in stock and in sale–like what this guy below did with his alcohol of choice:
Clearly this guy is an outdoorsman. Or just lovse the outdoors. Or at a minimum is a fan of formfitting sweatshirts. No matter, what, he’d love this woodsy gauntlet:
4. The WeWOOD Army Alpha
That’s right–a watch made entirely of wood. Who else but a guy wearing a shirt with a huge buck on it would love this watch more. The Alpha from WeWOOD has a wooden case, bezel and bracelet. It’s extremely lightweight AND a big head-turner. That’s a pretty good combo for a guy who is looking to share the 12-pack of PBR he’s lugging around. These watches are just in, so get one while you can.(Ed. note: No hipsters were harmed in the making of this blog post.)